Do you agree with that statement? Or do you mean that you don’t like to pray out loud when others are listening, like in church or at family gatherings? Or do you mean you don’t like to pray extemporaneously out loud when others are listening?
My best praying is extemporaneously out loud when I am alone, usually in the car or home alone. Praying out loud keeps me focused. Translating my thoughts into words clarifies them. And being alone gives me the freedom to say anything, making them my most eloquent prayers! (I have to catch myself thinking it is such a great prayer, maybe I could say it in front of others! Is that grandstanding?!!)
Praying extemporaneously out loud when in the company of others presents advantages and disadvantages.
ADVANTAGES: It is the right thing to do. “When two or three are agreed…” It is a way of connecting in 2 directions, UP/Vertical to God, and ACROSS/Horizontal with others. The most solid personal relationships include prayer. We can give support to each other with words like Amen, Yes, that’s right … or a simple Thank you. We learn to pray from listening to others pray. We hold each other accountable for what is prayed.
DISADVANTAGES: It is impossible to focus on God alone when in the company of other people. We automatically edit our language. We form words the human listeners will understand (and maybe need to hear!), as we talk to God. We may be more conscious of the other person(s) listening than we are of God. Is it really possible to be more conscious of God than the people listening? It may be our goal, but is it ever reached? We are always thinking of the ears of the other listener(s): filtered prayer. It requires trust in that other person(s), We make ourselves vulnerable to other people, that they will accept what we say. It is going out on a limb, risking the disapproval of those listening, they may disagree or demean what we say. We fear criticism, being misunderstood, looking like a fool to listeners. After I have prayed extemporaneously out loud in the company of others, I always feel foolish. That feeling usually lasts for days. We need human affirmation, but in our New England culture, a prayer is followed by silence. Having no comment can be perceived as implied criticism. However, affirmation through amens, etc. may be distracting or worse, may influence us toward looking for human approval.
OTHER TYPES OF PRAYER
For those who wrestle with praying extemporaneously out loud in the hearing of others, you can still pray! Here are a few ideas:
- The Lord’s Prayer recited or sung. (Less personal risk when it is recited in unison.)
- Singing prayers together: Doxology, Gloria Patrie, the Lord’s Prayer, to name a few.
- Write a prayer. It can be read it in front of others, or kept in a Prayer Journal.
- Read aloud a prayer from a Prayer Book.
- Stated Time Prayers: meals, bedtime, waking, car travel.
- Use things you can touch: worry dolls, rosary beads, a hand-held cross, jewelry.
- Refrigerator magnets with post its.
- Prayer requests or thanks on an erase board.
- Pray in Color: art using colored markers
- Prayer Walk.
At the PLACE OF PRAYER there are creative ways to engage in prayer: The Prayer Path has 14 stations, each with a different type of prayer. The Prayer Garden, Memory Garden, Pet Memorial Garden are for silent meditation. At the Singing Prayer Chair you can make your own music. The Circle of Prayer is for that matter you are not going to give up on. The Magic Miracle Glade to for asking or receiving a miracle. At the Prayer Wall you can jot down a prayer request and put it in the wall. The Holy Ground Grove is for connecting with the earth, and the Hill of Crosses for bringing your cares and faith to the Cross.
For details about the Place of Prayer, go to www.placeofprayerbedfordnh.org